“I Don’t Understand: Is Michael Stingy or Just Oblivious to How Much I Spend on Groceries?”

Living with Michael started as a dream. We moved in together last spring, full of hope and excitement about our future. But as the months have passed, a nagging issue has begun to overshadow our domestic bliss: Michael’s apparent disregard for our shared grocery expenses.

My name is Naomi, and I’ve always prided myself on being a practical and financially responsible person. When Michael and I decided to move in together, we agreed to split all our expenses down the middle. It seemed fair, straightforward, and neither of us anticipated any problems. However, the reality has been far from what I expected.

In the beginning, I noticed Michael was hesitant to contribute to the grocery shopping. He would often claim he forgot his wallet or had just used up his budget on other expenses. Wanting to keep the peace, I covered his share more often than not. As time went on, this became a pattern. I found myself constantly paying for our food, while Michael’s contributions were few and far between.

To date, Michael has only contributed to our groceries on three occasions. He bought bread twice and a box of tea once. Each time, it was only after I had asked him explicitly to pick something up on his way home. Even then, he acted as if he was doing me a personal favor, not simply fulfilling his part of our agreement.

I’ve tried to discuss this issue with him multiple times. Each conversation seems productive at the moment; Michael listens, nods, and promises to do better. But his actions never change. It’s as if he walks away from our talks and immediately forgets everything we discussed.

This ongoing issue has started to affect other aspects of our relationship. I find myself growing resentful, not just about the money, but about the lack of consideration he shows by ignoring our agreements. It feels like I’m not only managing our household alone but also shouldering the financial burden by myself.

Last week, I reached my breaking point. After a long day at work, I came home to find the fridge nearly empty. I was tired and hungry, and the thought of having to go out and buy groceries yet again, knowing that Michael hadn’t contributed anything, was too much. I confronted him, my frustration boiling over.

Michael’s response was defensive. He told me that he didn’t realize I felt this way and that he thought I was okay with the current arrangement since I never “made a big deal about it.” His words stung. It was clear he hadn’t been paying attention to any of our previous discussions.

We haven’t resolved the issue. The atmosphere in our apartment is tense, and I find myself questioning our future together. If we can’t work through something as basic as sharing grocery expenses, what does that say about our ability to handle bigger challenges?

As I sit here, writing this, Michael is in the other room, probably oblivious to the storm brewing inside me. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but for now, it seems we’re stuck in a stalemate, each waiting for the other to make a move.