“My Son is 35, Has His Own Family, Yet Still Asks Us for Money: I Don’t Know What to Do”

From the moment our son, Michael, was born, my husband and I vowed to give him the best life possible. We worked hard to provide him with everything he needed and more. We wanted him to have opportunities we never had growing up. But now, at 35 years old, with a family of his own, Michael still relies on us financially. And it’s tearing us apart.

Michael was always a bright child. He excelled in school, participated in sports, and had a wide circle of friends. We were proud parents, always cheering him on from the sidelines. When he decided to go to college out of state, we supported him fully, covering his tuition and living expenses. We believed that investing in his education would set him up for a successful future.

After college, Michael struggled to find a stable job. The economy was tough, and he bounced from one temporary position to another. We continued to help him out financially, believing that it was just a rough patch and that he would soon find his footing. But as the years went by, our support became a crutch.

When Michael met Sarah and they decided to start a family, we were overjoyed. Our first grandchild, Emily, was born shortly after their wedding. We were more than happy to help them out with baby expenses, thinking it was just temporary until they got on their feet. But now, five years later, the requests for money have not stopped.

Every month, there’s a new reason why they need financial assistance. It’s always “for Emily” – her school fees, medical bills, extracurricular activities. We love our granddaughter dearly and want the best for her, but we can’t help but feel taken advantage of. We’ve tried talking to Michael about budgeting and financial planning, but it always ends in an argument.

My husband and I are nearing retirement age. We’ve worked hard all our lives and saved diligently for our golden years. But with the constant financial drain from Michael and his family, we’re worried about our own future. We’ve even had to dip into our retirement savings to cover some of their expenses.

The stress is taking a toll on our health and our marriage. We argue more frequently about how to handle the situation. My husband thinks we should cut them off completely, forcing Michael to stand on his own two feet. But I can’t bear the thought of Emily suffering because of our decision.

We’ve tried suggesting that Michael and Sarah seek financial counseling or look for better job opportunities. But they always have an excuse – the job market is tough, they don’t have time for counseling, or they’re doing the best they can. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I lie awake at night, torn between wanting to help my son and protect my own future. I worry about what will happen if we stop supporting them. Will they be able to manage on their own? Will Emily suffer because of our decision? But I also worry about what will happen to us if we continue down this path.

I don’t know what the right answer is. All I know is that something has to change. We can’t keep living like this – constantly stressed, financially strained, and emotionally drained. I just hope that whatever decision we make, it’s the right one for everyone involved.