When Parents Become a Burden: How to Handle Elderly Parents Who Rely Too Much on Their Adult Children

Hey everyone,

I really need some advice. My name’s Nathan, and I’m feeling super overwhelmed right now. My mom, Madeline, has been calling me almost every day with some kind of emergency. The latest one was, “Nie czuję się dobrze, przyjedź jak najszybciej” (I don’t feel well, come as soon as possible). I rushed over, only to find out she just had a mild headache. This has been happening a lot lately, and it’s starting to take a toll on my mental health and my relationship with my wife, Aubrey.

I get that she’s getting older and might be feeling lonely or scared, but it’s like she doesn’t realize how much she’s impacting my life. I have a full-time job, and Aubrey and I are trying to start a family. I feel guilty for even thinking this way, but I can’t help but feel like she’s being a bit manipulative.

My friend Robert suggested setting some boundaries, but I’m not sure how to do that without coming off as a total jerk. Alexander mentioned looking into some kind of home care service, but I’m worried about the cost and how my mom would react to having a stranger in her home.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? How did you manage to find a balance between helping your elderly parents and living your own life? Any tips on how to have this tough conversation without hurting her feelings too much?

Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer. I really appreciate it.

-Nathan