“My Neighbor Assumed I’d Always Babysit Her Kid: I Don’t Know How to Tell Her I’m Done”

I remember the first time I met Lisa. She had just moved into the house next door, and we quickly discovered that our kids were the same age. It was comforting to have someone nearby who understood the challenges of raising a toddler. We started spending a lot of time together, sharing parenting tips and watching our kids play in the backyard.

At first, it was great. Our children got along well, and it was nice to have adult company during those long days of parenting. But as time went on, Lisa began to rely on me more and more. It started with small favors—watching her son for an hour while she ran errands or picking him up from preschool when she was running late. I didn’t mind at first; after all, that’s what neighbors are for, right?

But then the requests became more frequent and more demanding. Lisa would drop her son off at my house without any notice, sometimes for hours at a time. She’d text me last minute, asking if I could watch him because she had an appointment or needed to run some errands. It got to the point where I felt like I was running a daycare.

I tried to set boundaries, but Lisa always had an excuse. “It’s just this one time,” she’d say, or “I promise I’ll make it up to you.” But the one-time favors turned into a regular expectation. I found myself canceling my own plans and rearranging my schedule to accommodate her needs.

The final straw came last week. I had planned a special day out with my daughter—just the two of us. We were going to visit the zoo and have a picnic in the park. I had been looking forward to it for weeks. But that morning, Lisa showed up at my door in a panic. She had an emergency at work and needed someone to watch her son for the day.

I felt trapped. I didn’t want to let her down, but I also didn’t want to disappoint my daughter. Reluctantly, I agreed to take her son with us. The day was a disaster. My daughter was upset that she had to share our special day, and Lisa’s son was cranky and difficult to manage.

When Lisa came to pick him up that evening, she barely thanked me. She just grabbed her son and left, leaving me feeling used and unappreciated. That night, I lay in bed, fuming. I realized that this situation had gone too far. I couldn’t keep sacrificing my own time and happiness for someone who didn’t respect my boundaries.

But now I’m stuck. I don’t know how to tell Lisa that I’m done being her go-to babysitter. I’m afraid of causing tension between us or making things awkward in the neighborhood. But I also know that I can’t keep going like this.

I’ve started avoiding her calls and texts, hoping she’ll get the hint. But deep down, I know that I need to have a conversation with her. I need to explain how I feel and set clear boundaries. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s necessary for my own well-being.

I miss the days when our relationship was simple and mutually supportive. But now, it feels one-sided and draining. I hope that by being honest with Lisa, we can find a way to salvage our friendship—or at least coexist peacefully as neighbors.