“Who Are You, Grandma? We Only Have One Who Sees Her Grandkids Every Other Day”: She Didn’t Even Bother to Show Up for Their Birthday

I never thought I’d be writing this, but here I am, seeking advice from strangers on the internet because I don’t know what else to do. My mother-in-law, who lives just a few blocks away from us, hasn’t visited her grandkids in eight months. Eight long months. She doesn’t call, she doesn’t write, and she didn’t even bother to show up for their birthday party last week.

My husband and I moved to this city three years ago to be closer to his family. We thought it would be great for our kids to grow up with their grandparents around. For the first year or so, everything was fine. My mother-in-law would come over every other day, bringing little treats for the kids and spending time with them. They adored her, and I was grateful for the help and the bond they were forming.

But then, something changed. It started with her visits becoming less frequent. At first, I didn’t think much of it. People get busy, life happens. But then weeks turned into months, and now it’s been eight months since she last saw them. She didn’t even call on their birthday. My daughters were heartbroken.

I’ve tried reaching out to her multiple times. I’ve called, texted, even sent her emails. But she either doesn’t respond or gives me vague excuses about being busy or not feeling well. My husband has also tried talking to her, but she brushes him off too.

I don’t need her to come over for my sake. I can handle the kids just fine on my own. But it breaks my heart to see how hurt my daughters are by her absence. They keep asking why Grandma doesn’t want to see them anymore, and I don’t have an answer for them.

I’ve thought about just showing up at her house and demanding an explanation, but I’m not sure if that would make things better or worse. Part of me wonders if I’ve done something to offend her, but I can’t think of anything specific. We’ve always had a cordial relationship, nothing more, nothing less.

My husband is as baffled as I am. He says his mom has always been a bit distant, but this is extreme even for her. He suggests we just let it go and focus on our own little family, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more going on here.

I’ve considered talking to other family members to see if they know what’s up, but I’m hesitant to drag more people into this mess. Plus, I’m not sure if they’d be willing to get involved.

So here I am, pouring my heart out to strangers on the internet because I don’t know what else to do. How should I handle this situation? Should I confront her directly? Should I just let it go and try to move on? How do I explain this to my daughters in a way that won’t hurt them even more?

I never imagined that we’d be in this situation. We moved here with such high hopes of building a close-knit family, and now it feels like we’re more isolated than ever. My daughters deserve better than this. They deserve a grandmother who loves them and wants to be a part of their lives.

If anyone has any advice or has been through something similar, I’d love to hear from you. I’m at my wit’s end and could really use some guidance.