“My Husband Spends All His Free Time with His Daughter from a Previous Marriage”: Our Son and I Feel Neglected

When I first met John, he was very open about his past. He told me about his previous marriage and his daughter, Emily, who was then eight years old. I admired his honesty and the way he spoke about Emily with such love and dedication. It was one of the things that drew me to him. We dated for two years before getting married, and during that time, I saw how devoted he was to Emily. It was heartwarming, and I thought it showed what a great father he would be to our future children.

After we got married, John started talking about having a child together. He was enthusiastic and persistent, painting a beautiful picture of our future family. I was hesitant at first, worried about how we would balance everything, but his excitement was contagious. Eventually, I agreed, and soon after, we welcomed our son, Ethan, into the world.

The first few months were blissful. John was an attentive father and husband, helping with late-night feedings and diaper changes. But as Ethan grew older, things began to change. John started spending more and more time with Emily. At first, it was just weekends, but soon it became every free moment he had.

John explained that Emily was going through a tough time adjusting to her new school and dealing with the changes in her life. He said she needed him more than ever. I understood that she was his daughter and that she needed her father, but it felt like Ethan and I were being pushed aside.

I tried to talk to John about it several times. Each time, he reassured me that once Emily was more settled, he would spend more time with Ethan. He promised that when Ethan got older, they would have plenty of father-son bonding time. But as the months turned into years, nothing changed.

Ethan is now three years old, and John is still spending most of his free time with Emily. He takes her to her soccer games, helps her with her homework, and even goes on weekend trips with her. Meanwhile, Ethan and I are left at home, feeling like an afterthought.

I’ve tried to fill the void by being both mother and father to Ethan, but it’s not the same. He asks about his dad all the time, wondering why he’s not around as much as other kids’ fathers. It’s heartbreaking to see the confusion and sadness in his eyes.

I’ve also started to feel resentful towards Emily, even though I know it’s not her fault. She’s just a child who needs her father. But it’s hard not to feel jealous when I see how much attention John gives her while neglecting our son.

Our marriage has suffered as well. We barely spend any time together as a couple. When John is home, he’s either exhausted or preoccupied with thoughts of Emily. Our conversations are brief and often revolve around logistics rather than meaningful connection.

I’ve reached a breaking point. I’ve tried to be patient and understanding, but I can’t keep living like this. I’ve considered leaving John, but the thought of breaking up our family is too painful. I don’t want Ethan to grow up without his father, even if he’s not around as much as he should be.

I don’t know what the future holds for us. All I know is that something needs to change. Ethan deserves a father who is present in his life, and I deserve a husband who values our family as much as he does his relationship with Emily. Until then, we’ll continue to feel like we’re living in the shadows of John’s past.