Help! My Boyfriend’s Kid is Causing Drama in Our Relationship

Hey everyone,

I really need some advice and I thought I’d turn to you all for some help. So, here’s the deal: I’m dating this amazing guy, Roger, and things have been going great. We’ve been talking about the future and he’s even mentioned wanting to get married. Sounds perfect, right? Well, there’s a bit of a catch.

Roger has a son, Mikołaj, from a previous relationship. Mikołaj is a sweet kid, but I can’t help but feel like he’s going to be a big obstacle in our future together. I know it sounds terrible, but I really want to have my own children with Roger, and I’m worried that Mikołaj will always be in the way.

The other day, I told Roger, “I want to marry you, but I also want to have my own kids. Maybe Mikołaj could stay with his mom more often?” Roger didn’t take it well and now things are super tense between us. I feel like I’m being selfish, but at the same time, I can’t shake this feeling.

My friend Emma thinks I should just accept Mikołaj as part of the package and try to build a relationship with him. But my other friend Naomi says I should be honest with Roger about my feelings and see if we can find a compromise.

I’m really torn here. I love Roger and I want to be with him, but I’m not sure how to navigate this situation. Has anyone else been in a similar spot? How did you handle it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance!