Seeking Advice: Family Boundaries and Expectations

Dear Society Members,

I hope this letter finds you well and I appreciate the opportunity to seek advice from this supportive community. My name is Cora, and I am facing a dilemma that has caused me considerable emotional distress, and I am unsure how to proceed.

Recently, I was not invited to a family wedding. The reason given was that I am considered an “outsider” or not close enough to be included in such a family gathering. This exclusion was hurtful, especially considering the close familial ties presumed in other contexts.

The irony of the situation is that the same family members who excluded me from the wedding are now asking to stay at my apartment for several days around the event, citing that “after all, we are family.” This includes my cousins Andrew and Aria, who have directly expressed these contradictory views.

I am torn between wanting to maintain a peaceful family relationship and feeling used and unappreciated. How should I address this inconsistency in their behavior? Should I confront them about how this makes me feel, or should I simply accommodate their request and discuss the issue later?

I am looking forward to your insights and advice on how to handle this situation with grace and assertiveness.

Warm regards,

Cora